I should probably introduce myself. My name's Felina Kirby, although I'm known as the Cat as well. I've been called many other things, but I'm not going to repeat any of those here. I've also played many roles in my life-- ranging from rebellious child, to thief, to loving wife, to exiled thief. But now I am facing my most challenging of roles: that of a parent.
I can't really say that I have all that much experience as a parent. I can still vividly remember the first few years of Helena's life as a little baby. How I used to hold her tiny, fragile form in my hands as I would softly sing to her. I make no claims on being a skilled vocalist, but no one could deny the joy in my song or the warmth that filled my heart.
Somehow I threw it all away by reverting to my old bad habits. I'm a thief and I make no bones about it. I stole at first to annoy my mother, who had once been the heroine Shadowcat. But I soon found that I enjoyed it far too much. The rush of adrenaline that came from doing something where I could be caught was such a rush that I cannot even begin to explain how good it felt. Just like a drug addict, I became addicted to stealing so that I could continue to feel that rush.
But it's not all a bad thing. Were I not a thief, I wouldn't have met Hunter and later married him. I would have never given birth to Helena, my daughter. Of course, if I could have controlled my urges, I wouldn't have lost my husband and daughter either. I wouldn't have spent nineteen years wandering Europe wondering each and every day what could have been if I had exercised a little control.
You have no idea the pain I felt in leaving. It was like someone had ripped my very essence from my body, leaving me empty and hollow inside. It was a hurt that to this day has not completely gone away. It took a very long time for me to realize that my departure had been for the best. Heaven forbid that I might have raised our daughter to be more like me. I didn't want Helena to end up like that. Of course, I didn't really want her to follow in his footsteps either. I've always wished for her to live a normal life.
"Ready?", Muskateer asked from the sidelines. I had only just met the Avenger, so I didn't know much about him. Hunter had formed the Avengers while I was in Europe. My mother generously donated our family home for them to use as a base. This hero team was very much tied to my family. Now that Helena was taking after her father as the Huntress, she had become very closely tied to them as well.
That was the reason Muskateer had brought us to Sanctuary for testing. It was required by the Avengers. Along for the ride was the Enchantress, a beautiful sorceress. She had the air of wealth and sophistication about her. It's not really that hard to tell someone who grew up with a life of privilege if you pay a little attention. Rounding out our little group was a man who called himself the Texas Ranger. He was handsome in a rugged sort of way and seemed to be smitten with Helena. I don't think she's noticed this, however. I've unfortunately noted that getting a boyfriend has not been high on her list of priorities. Meaning that getting a husband and having a family were even further down on such a list.
"Ready," I responded as I gazed at my opponent in this mock-combat trial: Archangel of the Young Champions. From what I gathered, these Young Champions were heroes in training here on Sanctuary Island. Archangel wasn't bad looking, but had something of an attitude problem. A real chip on his shoulder. It wasn't hard to spot in the previous battles, especially the one against Helena.
Now these mock-combats are not my idea of fun. Definitely not under these blistering tropical conditions. But there was a reason for me to participate in this test. Helena has been growing more and more despondent over her seeming lacking of abilities. Maybe abilities was the wrong word to use. Helena didn't share in my grace and agility, or in her father's for that matter.
Why? I had a vague idea, but wasn't sure if I should share it with Helena. After all, if what is wrong with Helena was the same difficulties her father experienced at the start of his career and she solved that particular problem, then it would be next to impossible to get her to quit being the Huntress.
That's a bit rotten of me, I suppose. But it is my daughter we're talking about here. Most of mine and Lane's family had been in the 'business' and I wanted that trend to end with Helena. It really would be the best thing for her even if she didn't realize it. Of course, my suspicions might be completely wrong and the problem was caused by something else. One way or another, these tests might reveal the answers whether I liked it or not. So, in essence, I was only doing this for my daughter and her peace of mind. It certainly wasn't for my benefit.
"I'll go easy on you, little girl," Archangel informed me with a goofy grin on his face. What arrogance! I may be small in stature, but I'm old enough to be his mother! Judging by how easily he became angered, I doubted that Archangel's promise held much weight. I didn't dignify his posturing with a response.
"Alright! Let's do it, people!", Muskateer ordered from the sidelines. The Enchantress, Tigress, Huntress, and Texas Ranger stood nearby watching our duel. I knew the feeling, as I had been on the sidelines most of the day as well. I was the last of our group to undergo these trials.
Archangel leaped into the air, propelled by his powerful wings, and flew directly at me. I made no attempt to move out his way. But at seemingly the last possible moment, I side stepped to my right causing Archangel to completely miss me. That was easy enough.
"You're quick, missy, but not fast enough to avoid me forever!" Archangel stated as he banked and swung back to make another pass. I've heard that particular line of reasoning before and seldom did it meet with any success.
"I wouldn't count on that," I could hear Helena say as she watched me easily avoid Archangel's next assault. I allowed myself a momentary pleased smile. After getting off to such a rocky start in renewing our relationship, Helena's showing confidence in me made me proud. There was no mistaking us as mother and daughter. Our features were rather similar, after all. Although I wore my hair much shorter than Helena, and she was much taller and stronger.
The next three attacks by Archangel were equally unsuccessful as I continued to easily avoid his clumsy assaults. "What's the big idea?!", Archangel yelled in frustration "We're supposed to be fighting!"
"I'm a lover, not a fighter," I playfully answered. Physical combat had always been something that I tried to avoid as much as possible. Quickness and agility were my calling cards, not hand to hand combat. I also had a sense for these sort of things-- call it intuition if you will. I seemed to be aware of any potential danger that would come my way and was usually able to avoid it. Cat sense, I guess.
"Well, that changes everything," Archangel gleefully responded. "As am I, my dear, as am I. So, why don't we forget this silly testing and indulge in more pleasureful activities?"
I tried to contain my amusement as this little boy tried to hit on me! I suppose I should have been flattered, but I was still old enough to be his mother. Not that I had even the slightest romantic inclinations towards the lad.
"So help me, I'll wring his neck!", I could hear Helena threaten from the sidelines. Glancing a look in her direction, I could see Helena being held back by Muskateer. She had attempted to rush out and defend my honor. I was touched by her concern, but there was little chance of Archangel getting that close to me.
"Ease up, Sprout," Muskateer told Helena. "From what I've seen, your mom doesn't need anyone's help to handle 'Wings." While I appreciated the comment, I couldn't help but wonder where the nickname of 'Sprout' came from. All I could think of was the character from the Jolly Green Giant commercials and wonder how that could possibly relate to Helena.
"I doubt my daughter would approve of such a liaison," I finally taunted back to Archangel. "Besides a proper gentlemen would try to woo a woman he found desirable, not simply suggest that they engage in sex. My suggestion to you, dear boy, is to go and take a long cold shower."
That blow to his pride seemed to anger Archangel even more and he continued to attack with renewed vigor. However, his anger clouded his judgement and his attacks became less and less skilled. I easily continued to avoid clumsy assaults with a wide variety of acrobatic moves, but nothing spectacular. After several more minutes of this, Muskateer called the match.
"All right, that's enough!", Muskateer called out as he stepped between Archangel and I. "The docs got all the readings they need. We'll call this one a draw." While I retired to the sidelines, Archangel flew off in huff.
"You okay, mom?", Helena asked me as she handed me a towel and water bottle.
"Right as rain, dear." I pulled my hood back and toweled my face and hair down. Then I took several drinks of water. "I'm beginning to wish that I had dressed more appropriately for the tropics."
"Neither of us were quite prepared for this heat," Helena agreed. "At least it's almost over."
A few minutes later, I was back out on the training street checking out my last opponent. She called herself the Tigress and was dressed in the appropriate tiger striped outfit. Tigress seemed much more at ease than Archangel had been. She appeared to take these mock-combats in stride and tried to have fun with them. Tigress also defeated Helena easily, which was something of a concern. Her lean and trim body was more like mine-- full of speed and agility. This was going to be a much different challenge than the one Archangel presented.
"This could be interesting, old tabby. I haven't really faced anyone in my agility class before," the Tigress told me. "Guess it's my turn to try and 'bell the Cat'."
"You are welcome to try, kitten," I informed her with a smile. I had the feeling that this test was going to be more to my liking.
"Well, this should be really catty," Muskateer joked from the sidelines, eliciting several groans from those assembled. "You gals ready?"
"What do you say we make this easy on you, kitten?", I suggested.
"No need to do me any favors, old tabby. I should be the one making things easier on you." While that might have sounded arrogant and snotty, I could tell that Tigress was getting into the spirit of things far better than her teammate had.
"All you have to do is touch me to win."
The Tigress considered this for a moment. "So you want to play tag? I can get behind that."
"Go to it!", Muskateer commanded from the sidelines.
The Tigress immediately crouched and started to circle to her right. I circled away as well as we stalked each other. A grin came to her face and I could tell that she was getting ready to strike.
"Let's see what you've got, old tabby!", the Tigress yelled as she leaped forward. She missed with her opening assault, of course. However, Tigress had expected me to dodge to the side much like I had with Archangel. So, after missing her first attempt, the Tigress immediately leaped back and off to one side, twisting in mid-air to slam into me where she thought I would be.
However, that was not to be as I did much more than the casual side step I had taken with Archangel. No, I had used my full leaping ability to travel dozens of yards instead of dozens of feet. The Tigress struck nothing but air again.
"Pretty tricky," was the Tigress comment on the subject after she had located my true location. She rushed at me this time, keeping her feet firmly planted on the ground.
"Kitten, you haven't seen anything yet," I taunted as I cartwheeled away from her. Coming out of my gymnastics, I ran and leaped up to a high window ledge. From there, I leaped towards the roof, catching its edge in my hands and swung myself up onto the roof. I used to be able to do that in one jump in my younger days. The ravages of age, I guess.
"Not terrible, old tabby," Tigress taunted back as she rushed towards the building I was currently standing atop. "But I think I've got a bit more spring in my stride!" With that, the Tigress leaped and reached the rooftop in a single bound.
I didn't bother responding, as I had turned and started to run across the roof as soon the Tigress began her leap. Not pausing, she continued to give chase. While it was true the Tigress could leap further than I could, I was still slightly quicker and faster.
"You have the energy of youth, kitten," I informed my pursuer as I continued to flee, hopping from roof to roof with the Tigress hot on my heels. "While I have the savvy that comes from a lifetime of experience."
"Experience is overrated, if you ask me," the Tigress responded as she maintained pursuit.
Of course I had to put that statement to the test. I turned and ran towards the nearest roof edge. Without pausing, I stepped off the roof and disappeared from the Tigress's sight. "There's nowhere you can run that I can't follow," the Young Champion added as she followed me over the edge.
The Tigress crouched and landed on all fours in the street below like a proper feline. I was rapidly gaining admiration for the young woman. Of all the superpowered people I had encountered, her physical skills and abilities came the closest to matching my own. However, as I had noted, she was lacking my experience.
Rapidly looking about, the Tigress tried to locate me, but was having some difficulty. "Hey! Where'd she go?"
"Never underestimate experience, kitten," I answered from my hiding place from high up on the eave. You see, while it appeared that I leaped off the building, I had used my almost-catlike claws to grab a hold of the eave on the way down. While Tigress was looking for me down on the ground, I was dangling from a mid-air perch.
"Another point for you, you sly old tabby," Tigress conceded, as she watched me with a dismayed look on her face, hands resting on her hips.
I gracefully landed nearby and bowed in appreciation. "You remind me of myself at your age."
"We're not going to get into one of those generations things, where you want to pass the torch on to me or something? I really hate mushy things like that."
"Heavens no, kitten. I never was the heroic type to begin with. I was just commenting on how similar our abilities are." I should have realized that Tigress probably had no idea about my past history. Perhaps she thought me a retired heroine.
"Good! 'Cuz I plan on winning this little test fair and square!"
I was expecting her lunge, and moved to avoid it. For the next few moments we performed what can only be described as an athletic ballet as the Tigress tried to touch me, while I tried to avoid her touch. Those on the sidelines watched in awe. In fact, their ranks had increased while our duel had progressed.
Finally, inevitably, the Tigress slapped me on the back and the contest was suddenly over. "Toldya, old tabby," the Tigress panted. "I knew I could catch you."
"Victory is yours, kitten," I graciously announced. In fact, I was just as fatigued as Tigress was, if not more. It was a relief to have this contest over with. I could finally get out of this heat and regain some of my lost fluids.
To our surprise, applause rang out from the sidelines. Other supers had come to watch our contest, including a few villains. The Tigress and I exchanged glances. We took each other's hand and bowed to adoring audience.
"That was incredible," the Tigress whispered to me. "How about some lunch? My treat?"
"You are a very gracious winner, kitten. As long as they have air conditioning, count me in!"
A short time later, I found myself, along with Helena and the Tigress, inside Tahiti's, the four star restaurant located inside the island hotel. Mercifully, it was air conditioned and I rapidly overcame my earlier fatigue. I ate sparingly, having only a chef salad. The Tigress and I chatted for a while with Helena listening in. The others in our group had gone their separate ways, but we were due to meet shortly for the return trip home.
After a time, Helena excused herself from the table and left the restaurant. At the time, I didn't realize that she was up to something. It wasn't until a few minutes later that I realized what Helena was planning. She was pushing an elderly woman in a wheelchair. The woman appeared to be in her late sixties, her hair having turned a whitish-gray. I inadvertently gasped in surprise at the sight of Jennifer Hamilton.
"Felicia," the woman in the wheelchair said to me without much emotion.
"Mother," I responded in an equally unemotional tone.
"Grandma Jenny moved to Sanctuary a few years back," Helena explained hopefully. "I thought it might be a good idea for you two to try and work things out."
"I'm going to take this as my cue to cut out," the Tigress announced, once she realized what was going on. "It's been real."
"Nice to meet you, kitten," I told the Young Champion as she quickly stepped away. I envied her being able to extricate herself from this situation so easily. I wasn't going to be so lucky. The Tigress waved her goodbyes.
While that was going on, Helena maneuvered mother's wheelchair up to the table and then reclaimed her seat. I glanced at Jennifer, but didn't say anything. Neither one of us would maintain eye contact. Yes, it was an extremely uncomfortable situation.
Believe it or not, but my relationship with my mother was even worse than mine was with Helena. It had to be at least twenty years since we were even in the same room together. We had hurt each other so badly, that I doubt we ever could patch up our differences.
Much like my daughter, my mother was a heroine in her own right going by the code name of Shadowcat. I was born right before World War II and Shadowcat led her own hero team during that time. You can see the root of the problem in our relationship: I was nearly five years old before my mother took a serious interest in raising me.
I suppose that she thought she was doing what was best. The evil of the Axis Alliance had to be confronted and defeated for the good of the world. But a little girl just doesn't understand such things. To a little girl, it seemed like she was the second most important thing in her mother's life. That little girl that I used to be was deeply hurt by this.
I was raised by nannies primarily. My grandparents were wealthy and lived in a mansion across the street from Central Park in New York City. You might know the place, as it is now the home of the Avengers.
And so, by the time mom had the time to finally pay attention to me, I was past the young and impressionable stage of my life. I pretty much did the opposite of what she wanted me to do, in order to hurt her like she had hurt me. A task made all the more easy once my Cat abilities started to come out. Mother had been a hero, so I decided to be a criminal. Well, not much of a criminal as I abhor violence. Mostly I was looking to be as annoying to her as much as possible. So I started to steal things and became really good at it and eventually addicted to it. Mother didn't take it well and kicked me out when I was sixteen.
I guess to her I was a great disappointment. As I'm now realizing, parents strive to have things better for their children than for our selves. Instead, in her eyes, I took several giant leaps backward.
We came across each other every once in a great while as the years passed and actually seemed to be on the verge of being civil to each other when Helena was born. But that didn't last and I disappointed her, my husband, and my daughter by continuing to steal.
"Isn't someone going to say something?", Helena wondered out loud, breaking the uncomfortable silence.
I glanced at Helena and then at Jennifer. "There's not a whole lot to say, dear. Some wounds will never heal." Then I looked away.
"I would like to go back to my room now," Jennifer told Helena. "I told you this was a bad idea, child."
Dejectedly, Helena complied with her grandmother's wishes. I didn't watch as they departed the restaurant. This was turning out to be a very stressful day. I pushed the remainder of my salad away. Suddenly, I wasn't very hungry.
I waited for Helena by the elevators on a nearby bench. It was easy to see the disappointment in her face. After I had left, Helena had been raised by Jennifer so the two of them had a very good relationship. I could only hope that it helped mom overcome some of her bitterness towards me as Helena had turned out much closer to what she had wanted in a daughter.
"I'm sorry, mom," Helena told me. "I just thought that maybe you and grandma could--?"
"I know you meant well, dear," I said interrupting Helena. "Your grandmother and I have never seen eye to eye. I seriously doubt we ever will. You can't expect things to simply change overnight."
"Things will never change unless one of you even tries to reconcile," she countered and she was right. But we were both too old and too set in our ways to take that first step. While it was true I had taken that first step with Helena, I was so desperate to be involved in my daughter's life no matter how much of my pride I had to swallow. That was simply not the case with my own mother. Apparently, she felt the same way so things remained status quo.
"You are correct, of course. Right now neither one of us is ready to take that step." We walked out of the hotel side by side. I suppose I should have been angry at Helena for not telling me that her grandmother now resided on Sanctuary. However, she was doing what she thought was best.
I took Helena's hand and smiled at her. "Maybe someday we'll work things out. You're just going to have to be patient, dear."
A little over an hour later, we were back home. The Enchantress used her magic once more to transport us to Avengers Mansion. From there, Helena drove us back to the Kirby Estate. We didn't talk much during the trip. There really wasn't much to say.
Once home again, I immediately headed for my suite and stripped out of my Cat outfit. The poor thing had been drenched in sweat and I was beginning to offend even myself. A nice hot, refreshing shower would do the trick right about now.
I was drying my hair when I heard Helena's voice coming from outside the bathroom door. "Hey, Mom! Lydia wants to know if you're up for a little shopping excursion. She's looking to get a new bikini for the party Saturday."
The party on Saturday night was my idea. Helena needed to get out more and socialize. Unfortunately, most of her friends were other heroes, so they dominated the guest list. At least I was going to be able to meet her friends.
Lydia was better known as Night Owl. I had to admit that I liked Lydia a lot. We were kindred spirits in the sense that we both like to enjoy life. Having Helena spend time with her was only a good thing. It would help her come out of her shell. I was guessing that Megan was also going to be involved in this as well. Usually she and Lydia went out shopping together.
"Sounds like a pleasant way to spend the evening," I informed Helena. Plus, if we were out then the Huntress couldn't be. I liked that idea. "I'll get changed right away."
"Okay," Helena answered from the other side of the door.
Now I was left with the task of what to wear. Since I had my belongings moved in from storage, my full wardrobe was now available. But what to wear?
Naturally, this was a casual undertaking, but decided to get a bit dressed up. I pulled out my favorite red blouse and the red leather skirt I often wore with it. The skirt fell about halfway to my knees and showed off my legs. Now I'm not that vain of a person, but thanks to my Cat abilities I have some damn good looking legs and felt like showing them off. Red tinted hose and shiny red pumps finished my attire.
Helena was a bit more conservative, but I had expected that. She seems to like those blouse and vest combinations with long skirts. Oh well. As I told her earlier, miracles don't happen overnight.
"So what do you think, Mrs. K?", Lydia asked me as she showed off the swimsuit she was modeling. In the short time that I've known Lydia and Megan, they've sort of adopted me as a den mother. They would ask my opinion on their choice of clothes and other subjects. Some things that a young woman would talk with to her mother, some things that she wouldn't mention. I have to admit that it was a role that I enjoyed immensely.
I could certainly sympathize with Megan, She had a disastrous relationship with her mother who was an evil sorceress that tried to get Megan to join her coven. That poor young girl ran away instead. We could relate to each other since neither of has had an ideal relationship with our mothers.
"You'll certainly get plenty of male attention in that suit," I told Lydia with a sly smile. Her choice was tiny string bikini. It covered the essentials, but not much more. Befitting her Night Owl role, it was jet black in color.
"That was sort of the idea," Lydia grinned back at me. The young woman was in superb physical condition and was very attractive. Lydia was as tall as Helena, but thinner. In spite of this, Night Owl was superhumanly strong.
Not to be outdone, Megan came out in a maroon bikini. While she was attractive as Lydia, Megan's choice of swimsuit was just a tad more conservative. Not much more, but enough to be a noticeable. "I just love this color," Megan noted as she showed off her choice to me and Lydia.
"Very flattering," I told her.
"Looks hot on you," Lydia informed her shorter friend. "Okay, Helena. It's your turn."
It wasn't surprising that my daughter was the last one to show off her choice of swimsuit. I expected it to be conservative and I was not to be disappointed. Gingerly, Helena came forth in a dark blue one-piece suit. "So what do you think?", my daughter asked of us.
"It's very nice, dear," I answered diplomatically.
"Kind of dull, if you ask me," was Lydia's response. "You've got a decent bod. You need to show it off."
"Well, that's sort of a problem," Helena sheepishly tried to explain. "I've got some nasty scars on my stomach that I'd rather keep under wraps." Gingerly, Helena moved the fabric of her costume back so that we could see the edge of a large scar.
"Gross!", was Lydia's comment.
"How'd that happen?", Megan wondered as she squirmed at the sight of the injury. I had to admit that I was wondering that very same thing.
"Let's just say that I was on the wrong end of a battle axe and leave it at that." Seeing the expecting look upon our faces, Helena amended her statement with, "It missed anything vital. Basically just a giant cut." (Editor's Note: That was from way back in Avengers #10)
"How about you, mom?", Helena asked, changing the subject. "Did you find anything?"
"Yes, dear." I held up a black, high cut one-piece suit in my hand. "This one will do very nicely."
With our purchase decisions now made, the girls changed back into their street clothes while I waited outside. Soon we were on our way once more. We stopped for a quick drink before dropping off Lydia and Megan. I sat in silence while Helena drove the Mercedes back to the estate.
"You okay, mom?", Helena asked me, concern thick in her voice. I had been much more animated while with Megan and Lydia. Now I became much more introverted.
"Fine, dear," I lied. "Just a bit tired after all the day's activities." That part wasn't a deception. The duels on Sanctuary had left me exhausted and I was looking forward to sleep.
"I can imagine," Helena answered. "I was getting tired just watching you."
I smiled and patted Helena on the shoulder. She obviously didn't know what was really going on right under her nose. If only I had the strength to tell her. But I didn't. I couldn't.
The Estate came into view and within moments we were entering the house with our purchases. "I'm going to turn in," I informed Helena.
"Goodnight," Helena wished me.
Taking my bag, I made my way to my suite and closed the door behind me. I listened at the door for a few moments, but didn't hear any noise outside. Helena must have remained downstairs. I tossed the bag into a chair, went to my dressing table, and stared hard into the mirror. I hated what I saw.
Angrily, I pulled out the second swimsuit that I left the boutique with. The one that I didn't pay for. I stared at it in disgust and wondered why I had taken it. I certainly didn't need it and I had more than enough money to pay for it. Even more brazen, I had taken it without Helena or her friends ever even noticing right from under their noses.
I knew the answer of course. It was the same answer I always had for that particular question. I did it to feel the thrill of potentially getting caught. I did it to satisfy my addiction. I did it because I couldn't help myself.
Pulling the bottom drawer of my dressing table open, I tossed the ill-gained garment inside with all the other things I had taken from my shopping excursions with the girls. No, this wasn't the first time. It wasn't going to be the last either, no matter how much I truly wished it to be.
I started hard at my image and wept. It was only going to be a matter of time before I got caught. Only a matter of time before Helena realized that I had broken my promise to not steal while under her roof. Only a matter of time before I lost everything that I cared about... Again.
